Saturday, March 26, 2011
I had my mom here for the last two and a half weeks to take care of me and to take care of Nolan. I am so grateful that she was here. I am still recuperating slowly from my back surgery. I am 16 days out from surgery and it is hard to be patient with this. I know I know, I need to be patient, this is for my health for the rest of my life. That is very easy for other people to say that aren't actually in my position. Nolan is running and playing and shrieking with joy and I don't get to be a part of that. When he falls down and cries, I am not allowed to pick him up. When He wakes up in the middle of the night or from his nap and is crying, I don't get to be the one to go in and get him and comfort him. He is asking to be picked up and held by everyone but me. I have been with him 24/7 since he was born and now I have to be patient and wait. Since I had surgery and can't nurse Nolan because of all the medication I am on we don't get to lay in bed and snuggle. That was one of my favorite thing to do. He would nurse and drift off to sleep, and I would hold him close by my side as he slept until it was time to put him into his crib. Now I'm lucky to have a 15 second calm moment with him on my lap before he wiggles his way off onto the floor. I'm not complaining here, I just feel like I want to spell out how I am feeling a little bit.